Review: LELO Elise
The LELO Elise has been on my wishlist for a few years. When it first crossed my “gotta have it” radar it was because of the sleek and modern design that not many vibrators had. It was eye catching and somewhat unique. Now days there are many more vibrators that appear with the same simplistic modern look that I enjoy, but rarely do they boast that they have dual motors like the Elise does. Which is why it stayed on my wishlist.
Dual motors?! What are you talking about?! What could this mean? It’s quite simple; there are two independent motors that run the Elise. One is at the base and the other at the tip and you have the ability to switch from one to the other to focus the attention of vibrations where you want them the most. Not very many vibrators feature this option so it’s pretty nifty.
Vibrations, vibrations, vibrations; the subject which you are more than likely interested in the most. The LELO Elise does not disappoint. The steady vibrations start out as a deep rumble and gradually move to a buzzy vibration that tingles my nose in five steps. They are not the strongest vibrations in the world. I asked Maverick how he’d describe them and he said, “mild” and compared them to a little stronger than PS3 controller’s vibration.
In addition to the steady vibrations the LELO Elise also has four vibrational patterns. You control these patterns by using the up and down arrow buttons on the handle. I almost typed controller as it reminds me of a SEGA Genesis d-pad. Anyways, the patterns are as follows:
- Tip motor only
- Base motor only
- Both motors in short alternating pulses
- Both motors longer alternating pulses
Personally my favorite is #5, which is just having both motors going at the same time in a steady vibration. I don’t count it as a pattern because most vibrators start off with that steady vibration or that is the only option they come with. Nothing new or spectacular.
The addition of a second motor doesn’t make much of a difference to me. Most noticably, the handle vibrates when the lower motor is on and this is numbing to my hands. The vibrations from the motor at the tip seem weak in comparison to the vibrations from the lower motor.
*Click to view larger images*
Elise is made of silky soft silicone and plastic. The silicone is just velvety feeling and quite smooth. I experienced no ‘drag’ effect when using the Elise like I have with other silicone toys. The shaft is completely hard with no give and is slightly curved. Some say it’s to help stimulate your g-spot but I say MEH! The LELO Elise is NOT designed for that. The curve is nice because it just allows a natural flow to most female anatomy rather than being a straight ramming rod.
As far as things go the LELO Elise was not enough to get me off. In fact I found myself becoming frustrated because the vibrations just were not strong enough for me and I’m not a patient person. However I should note that I’m not too sensitive to vibrations (especially internally) so that more than likely plays a large role.
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I do not suggest this for someone who has trouble with your average vibrators vibration strength because it will perform the same despite the larger price tag. I’d recommend one but I’m still on the search for one for internal vibrations myself.
Rating: 
Use the code ONS15 at checkout for 15% off your purchase!
An Upward Glance
Review: Fetish Fantasy Series Handcuffs
$39.99 from OurNaughtySecrets.com
I’d like to think that a majority of people think of handcuffs when they want to restrain their partner. I mean think about it; handcuffs are in nearly any movie that revolves restraining someone to a bed. They are common, easy to get a hold of, and have been around for these bedroom purposes for a long time. Sadly I still remember asking my Uncle why they had handcuffs on their bed years ago. At the time I was told it was to “restrain their cat.” I always found it odd, but who was I at eight or so to question that? It wasn’t until later that I was like “ah ha!” and figured it out thanks to the media.
Back on point, handcuffs are something that most people like to try out at least once even though there are better ways of restraining your lover to the bed. While I have better methods such as velco cuffs, buckle cuffs, Sportsheet’s under the bed restraint system and their velcro bedsheet system, sometimes breaking out the raw metal handcuffs is just thrilling and adds to the excitement of the fantasy.
The last set of cuffs I had were a cheap $8.00 pair I bought off of ebay. They broke the first time we used them. This time I decided to go with something a little more expensive, Fetish Fantasy Series Handcuffs. They boast that they are “professional police” style, but I handed them over to a cop friend and he just laughed. While they are nowhere near “professional police” style they will do the job.
Trying to describe handcuffs is difficult, they are handcuffs; metal and made in china. My pair came slightly scuffed and I’m not sure if that’s typical. While it’s one of those eye roll things it doesn’t take away from the product itself. They are a bit stiff to use at first, so don’t just go banging them around someones wrist like the world depends on you cuffing them in point two seconds. It’s going to hurt them, and not in an erotic way. To solve some of the stiffness I sprayed a bit of WD-40 on them which seemed to help the cuffs ratchet together smoother than they were.
Unlike cheaper handcuffs these do not feature a safety release button on the side. Instead there is just a keyhole that you stick the key in to and twist to release the cuffs which gives you that secure feeling that your partner will not escape easily. Though if you lose the key you can jimmy the lock with a paper clip, it’s just more of a pain in the ass. If you can’t do that then heading to your local police station to have them use their keys may be your next option. Cop Friend says it happens more often that you think.
One feature I wish these handcuffs had was are double-locks. Double-lock stops the cuff from ratcheting tighter and keeps them at the lock position you want them. However, these cuffs DO NOT feature that so you’ll need to take care that when you or your partner struggles or presses on the cuffs that they don’t unintentionally tighten too much.
I know I make it sound like these cuffs are bad, but the truth is they aren’t. They are cheap yet durable and will allow you to play out the fantasy you wish.
Rating:
Use the code ONS15 at checkout for 15% off your purchase!
Photos In Reviews
Adriana pointed me to a thread she created on EdenFallacys where the basic jist was about photos in reviews, how many was too many, that sort of thing. Since then it’s left me pondering some questions since I generally make an attempt to put photos in my own reviews.
- Do you enjoy when I include photos in my reviews?
- Any suggestions for my photos?
- How many photos for a review is too many?
- What types of photos do you like in a review?
- Would you rather click on thumbnails to a bigger version, slideshow scroll, or see strategic placement?
- Any other opinion on photos and reviews?
I’d love it if you’d take the time to answer my questions 
Review: Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Kit
$24.99 from Nitetimetoys.com
While the Shock Therapy Kit by Fetish Fantasy didn’t manage to turn me on or get me off, it was a nice tool to use for aching muscles once I figured out how to actually understand the “easy to read LCD screen”. I’m still not sure if I’m even reading it right. In fact I’ve had this for nearly a month and I still spend at least eight or so minutes just trying to get it to start the actual vibrations. It’s quirky.
The directions for the Shock Therapy Kit are completely laughable because I didn’t find them very helpful past the first step.
- Remove the plastic film from electrode pad and place pads on desired body part.
Should be something like: Have a hard as fuck time removing the plastic film from the electrode pad as the gel is very sticky. Don’t throw the plastic film away as you’ll need it to put the pad back on once you’re finished for storage.
- Turn the power ON by pressing the power switch. The TAP symbol will appear on the LCD screen.
We assume you know that you’re supposed to have already connected the pads to the included wire. It’s a snap system (think snap button jackets) so it’s easy. Don’t forget to plug the jack located at the end of the wire into the base. Once you do this then go ahead and press on. The TAP symbol happens to be a hand shaped like a fist located next to the icon of the human body and doesn’t mean jack in terms of starting a session.
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- LCD Instructions
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- Turned On
The directions go on a bit like that and I wish that I could explain it better but I can’t because whenever I pick up the base I feel like I’m suddenly eight years old trying to defeat my Brother in Mortal Kombat on the Super Nintendo by button mashing whatever combo works.
As I said earlier the base is kinda quirky. I’ve found that you have to have all four pads placed on the body before you can actually do anything, and even then I have to button mash half the time because it’s not working. How it can tell the difference between the pad being placed on the thin plastic or my body is beyond me, but that’s just my observation.
Once you get things going the Shock Therapy Kit is neat to mess with. I suggest testing it out on yourself before another so you can see how intense and painful some of the settings are. I tested it out on Maverick and couldn’t figure out why he’d jump and tell me it hurt until I tried it myself. You wouldn’t expect something so small to be able to do that much damage, but when it comes to your muscles it can and it DOES hurt if you set it up too high.
There are three main modes which are indicated by hand gestures located to the right of the body icon.
Tap – icon looks like a fist – promotes blood circulation with a tapping, throbbing stimulation pattern. Feels like the shock you get from picking up an electrical device.
Modulation – icon looks like the a hand about ready to insert into an orifice before fisting – Releases fatigue and relaxes muscles by providing a combination of different speeds and intensities. Feels like a steady buzz of electricity that cuts out after a few seconds. Reminds me of a cell phone vibrating or the way standard telephones used to ring. “Buuuuuuuuuuzzz *stop* repeat”.
Kneading – icon looks like a hand saying stop with a circle around it – gradually release neural or muscle pain by providing deep pressure-point stimulation – feels like a steady buzz of electricity that lasts a while before cutting out for about ten seconds before starting again.
My favorite modes happen to be the Tap and Modulation options. They seem to be more consistent with their patterns than the kneading one which sometimes seems to switch to a three second or so pulse of buzz that repeats at random.
In addition to the three main modes there are also five points of stimulation for lack of a better word. They don’t seem to be modes, but rather you telling the device what part of the body you have the pads on by cycling through them blinking on the body icon. There doesn’t really seem to be a point as every chosen part just gives you the same small shocks over and over.
I’ve found that it works best on more fleshy parts of your body, like your butt, shoulders, thighs, and back. Using it on my arms left me with painful tingles and twitchy sensations. The box shows using it on your nipples and shaved vagina. I didn’t test either of those areas because not only am I pregnant thus not wanting to mess up any production going on in my breasts, but I’m also trimmed not shaved and don’t really want to feel like I’ve gone in for a wax when I have to remove the sticky pads.
Warning wise the instructions caution against placing the pads inside your mouth, anus, or vagina. That’d just be weird. However Fetish Fantasy does make a prob, cock cage, and nipple clamps which you can use with the base if you decide. The warnings also say not to use this product if you suffer from any of the following conditions: heart disease, use of a pacemaker, epilepsy, while driving or operating heavy equipment, near any metal objects or piercings, including jewelry, or while pregnant. My bad on the last part but I needed to see what Maverick was talking about when he was telling me how it felt during the review.
This doesn’t seem to be something I’d use during sex. Perhaps during a massage session, but not sex or kink style discipline, there are other sex toys for that. I don’t want to have to spend precious moments trying to get the base to work and switched to the right setting. If I wanted frustration and button mashing I’d play fighting style video games.
Rating:
