Review: Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Kit

$24.99 from Nitetimetoys.com

While the Shock Therapy Kit by Fetish Fantasy didn’t manage to turn me on or get me off,  it was a nice tool to use for aching muscles once I figured out how to actually understand the “easy to read LCD screen”. I’m still not sure if I’m even reading it right. In fact I’ve had this for nearly a month and I still spend at least eight or so minutes just trying to get it to start the actual vibrations. It’s quirky.

The directions for the Shock Therapy Kit are completely laughable because I didn’t find them very helpful past the first step.

• Remove the plastic film from electrode pad and place pads on desired body part.

Should be something like: Have a hard as fuck time removing the plastic film from the electrode pad as the gel is very sticky. Don’t throw the plastic film away as you’ll need it to put the pad back on once you’re finished for storage.

• Turn the power ON by pressing the power switch. The TAP symbol will appear on the LCD screen.

We assume you know that you’re supposed to have already connected the pads to the included wire. It’s a snap system (think snap button jackets) so it’s easy. Don’t forget to plug the jack located at the end of the wire into the base. Once you do this then go ahead and press on.  The TAP symbol happens to be a hand shaped like a fist located next to the icon of the human body and doesn’t mean jack in terms of starting a session.

LCD Instructions

Turned On

The directions go on a bit like that and I wish that I could explain it better but I can’t because whenever I pick up the base I feel like I’m suddenly eight years old trying to defeat my Brother in Mortal Kombat on the Super Nintendo by button mashing whatever combo works.

As I said earlier the base is kinda quirky. I’ve found that you have to have all four pads placed on the body before you can actually do anything, and even then I have to button mash half the time because it’s not working. How it can tell the difference between the pad being placed on the thin plastic or my body is beyond me, but that’s just my observation.

Once you get things going the Shock Therapy Kit is neat to mess with. I suggest testing it out on yourself before another so you can see how intense and painful some of the settings are. I tested it out on Maverick and couldn’t figure out why he’d jump and tell me it hurt until I tried it myself. You wouldn’t expect something so small to be able to do that much damage, but when it comes to your muscles it can and it DOES hurt if you set it up too high.

There are three main modes which are indicated by hand gestures located to the right of the body icon.

Tap – icon looks like a fist – promotes blood circulation with a tapping, throbbing stimulation pattern. Feels like the shock you get from picking up an electrical device.

Modulation – icon looks like the a hand about ready to insert into an orifice before fisting – Releases fatigue and relaxes muscles by providing a combination of different speeds and intensities. Feels like a steady buzz of electricity that cuts out after a few seconds. Reminds me of a cell phone vibrating or the way standard telephones used to ring. “Buuuuuuuuuuzzz *stop* repeat”.

Kneading – icon looks like a hand saying stop with a circle around it – gradually release neural or muscle pain by providing deep pressure-point stimulation – feels like a steady buzz of electricity that lasts a while before cutting out for about ten seconds before starting again.

My favorite modes happen to be the Tap and Modulation options. They seem to be more consistent with their patterns than the kneading one which sometimes seems to switch to a three second or so pulse of buzz that repeats at random.

In addition to the three main modes there are also five points of stimulation for lack of a better word. They don’t seem to be modes, but rather you telling the device what part of the body you have the pads on by cycling through them blinking on the body icon. There doesn’t really seem to be a point as every chosen part just gives you the same small shocks over and over.

I’ve found that it works best on more fleshy parts of your body, like your butt, shoulders, thighs, and back. Using it on my arms left me with painful tingles and twitchy sensations. The box shows using it on your nipples and shaved vagina. I didn’t test either of those areas because not only am I pregnant thus not wanting to mess up any production going on in my breasts, but I’m also trimmed not shaved and don’t really want to feel like I’ve gone in for a wax when I have to remove the sticky pads.

Warning wise  the instructions caution against  placing the pads inside your mouth, anus, or vagina. That’d just be weird. However Fetish Fantasy does make a prob, cock cage, and nipple clamps which you can use with the base if you decide. The warnings also say not to use this product if you suffer from any of the following conditions: heart disease, use of a pacemaker, epilepsy, while driving or operating heavy equipment, near any metal objects or piercings, including jewelry, or while pregnant. My bad on the last part but I needed to see what Maverick was talking about when he was telling me how it felt during the review.

This doesn’t seem to be something I’d use during sex. Perhaps during a massage session, but not sex or kink style discipline, there are other sex toys for that. I don’t want to have to spend precious moments  trying  to get the base to work and switched to the right setting. If I wanted frustration and button mashing I’d play fighting style video games.

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