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The “In” Crowd Ideal

June 6, 2010

There will always be some sort of clique or in-crowd to anyone looking at a group of friends or individuals. One persons version of the in-crowd clique is different from anothers. That is just basic human nature. We group things by how we associate them which is why there is never a correct answer on who they are.

The problem lies with those who consider themselves “‘outsiders” because they idolize an individual or group and feel unnoticed. It’s your typical high school drama of  the popular kids. I suppose that is why I was one of the loners in the opinion of others as opposed to being in the Fucking Awesome group I labeled myself and friends as.

It is all about how you look at yourself and the world. Do you choose to follow or lead? Do you value the opinion of others before the opinion you have of yourself? Do you associate or disassociate from XYZ because you want to or because you want to look cool to your idolized group by association? Can you form your own opinions and act on them without caring more if it pleases someone else before yourself?

Another problem I’ve noticed while reading the comments on AAG‘s post concerning  The “In” crowd and Sex Blogging is that too many people choose to allow those they have never and will never meet power over them. I understand getting upset or hurt by something negative you’ve read but honestly you choose how you will allow something to affect you. You can either choose to stand up and defend the issue or you can roll your eyes and move on. Pick your battles, decide what is worth fighting for, and decide if it really affects the real you.

It is hard to take a step back and say, “Okay so some random troll on the internet thinks I suck. Boo fucking hoo.” They don’t know you and who you are like you do. Instead they know the image of you that they have put together inside their heads based off of the image of you that you have placed on the net. Yet in the end it is not completely you. It’s like playing telephone, by the end the result is completely different.

If the comment is a snark against a review you’ve posted and were proud of try to take a step back and address it after you’ve had some time to form some thoughts rather than respond in an emotional state. While it seems overly negative and was probably written in a mocking manner is there any truth to it? Could you improve on something? If yes, thank them for pointing out what they feel is in error and work on it in the future. If no, simply thank them for their poorly written opinion and forget about it. Don’t feed the trolls. Honestly it is that simple.

Yes we are all human beings and we feel, but why do you value the opinion of some anonymous face online enough to affect you? Does it really matter? No. In the end it boils down to this. Who do you write for and why did you get into writing? For yourself or for the masses/cliques you idolize?

I am an individual defined only by myself who surrounds herself with those who happen to share the same  thought processes and opinions similar to my own like any other human being. I recognize the ability to think for myself and defend my choices and actions should we happen to disagree with something. That is called individuality and friendship.

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