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What We Want Is Not Always What We Need

June 21, 2010
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Adriana always manages to write posts that I want to put a big thumbs up on. Her latest post is titled, “What we want is not always what we need; the happiness version“. Here is a little taste of what it’s about. Anyone reading this now should go and read (comment too!) what she has to say.

A while back, a friend texted me a question. What did I think, she asked, that she needed in order to be happy in her relationship? Now, I now what she meant and what she wanted me to say. She was hoping for a list along these lines:

  • You need someone who listens to you
  • and cares about your feelings
  • and makes time for you
  • and shows you how much you matter

These things are certainly all well and good. I do like to experience them when I am in a relationship. Yet, I did not give her that answer. Instead, I told her it was a trick question because I recognized that she was thinking about what she wanted instead of what she needed.

To put it plainly, by framing her question and attitude in that way…

Not enough people seem to realize that your happiness does not come from someone or something else but yourself first. You will never truly be happy if you first cannot identify not only who you are but what  you value as well.

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