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Surprise Guests

February 24, 2012

If your house were to suddenly receive surprise guests RIGHT NOW without the chance to hide or clean anything up would your house be safe? Is there anything laying around that would embarrass you or make for unpleasent tension? Would you be okay or is your house pretty safe?

This question is inspired by an episode of Charmed that Maverick and I were watching where Paige takes news reporters around their house to show them they have nothing to hide. Of course they go into the attic where she suddenly remembers and sees the Book of Shadows, something she stands in front of to hide from view as to not expose their secret of being witches.

There have been times where I’ve had an erotica book sitting on the shelf or a dildo out when my family has decided to stop by. Luckily I’ve always managed to get the toys out of view, but sometimes I forget about the books. My Dad I don’t think has ever noticed, save for one time when I had some knee-high boots with 5″ heels sitting on the kitchen table. Granted they were for my Halloween costume it still created some unpleasent tension because he was of the mindset that something was going on.

Because of our close calls Maverick requested that I move all the porn and erotica novels to our bedroom. This wasn’t a big deal and worked fine at first, until my little sister (she’s nearly 18) started coming over. Sometime’s she’d go upstairs and browse around my closet (where I had the books and porn on the shelves) looking for clothes or the cats or god knows what.

Due to her age you think she’d understand, but it kind of makes things a bit awkward when she comments that she KNOWS my turned around DVDs cases are porn. Of course I’ve never lied and told her that yes they were porn and with as many comments she’s made she was welcome to borrow some if she wanted.  From our awkward sex talk (someone had to have it with her) I know she’s not interested in sex right now, but it’s made me wonder if I should buy her a gift card to a sex toy shop or something due to her prior comments about our porn that I mentioned. That’s another story though.

Maverick has a different view because we’ve scarred her for life with the times I’ve lent her my DSLR camera that had photos of me naked on it, accidental porn links being sent to her on messenger due to a copypasta error, and things like that. I feel a bit bad for her really.

This all has a point, I promise.

Due to the close calls with my family, noticing that my sister is a bit nosy, and talk about having people come over and possibly house sitting or checking on our animals when we decide to go somewhere, we’ve decided that our house isn’t that safe from visitors who’d tour the whole house.

While we’re not ashamed of our sex lives or the fact that I’m a sex toy reviewer, we don’t care to deal with the awkwardness of people knowing everything we have. Because of this we’ve purchased a trunk, similar to the rolling ones you see at Walmart and Target for college dorms, for lockable storage. I’m not sure if you would look at it and think “Oh my god horde of sex toys” or not, but it creates a peace of mind that people won’t be touching my things and thus makes it so my house is safe for any random house tours.

So how about your house?


4 Comments leave one →
  1. February 24, 2012 6:11 pm

    Oh gosh, our house is not even semi-safe. Considering this is an apartment where they could, potentially, come in for any reason/maintenance/etc. they want, I probably should keep it that way, but there’s just stuff everywhere.

  2. February 25, 2012 4:10 am

    Our house is pretty safe. I don’t think anything’s locked away but you’d have to open nightstand drawers or go into bags in closets to find things. I’d call that being nosy. 😛 If I know people are coming over who have a tendency to open closet doors, I’ll usually hide things more thoroughly.

  3. February 25, 2012 2:37 pm

    Hrm. Our house is safe, so long as no one went in my bathroom, (there is currently a tentacle in my sink and a butt plug in my medicine cabinet) or our master bedroom. There is a wall of impact toys, as well as various dildos out.

  4. February 25, 2012 3:41 pm

    Oh, my apartment is horrible. There are almost always sex toys on the kitchen counter and empty toy packaging strewn around the living room. I put my porn DVDs in a flip-through book thing, so they’re pretty hidden, but that’s about it. Everything else is really hard to hide.

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